It is uncomfortable transitioning from an independent
Canadian to a clueless foreigner. The life skills I learned in Canada do not
translate to life skills in Indonesia. In Canada I was proud of my independence
(I had my own car, shared an apartment, cooked my own food, etc). But now I have to constantly ask for help and
follow people rather than move independently.
I often don’t fully understand what people are saying so I can’t join
conversations around me. I have begun my
life in Indonesia as a vulnerable child slowly gaining life skills. This process is often frustrating because I
want to understand the society I live in, but I am constantly faced with my
lack of language abilities. I labeled by
blog “Lessons in Empowerment” because I thought I would be learning about other
peoples’ empowerment. In reality, this year
in Indonesia might be more about my need for empowerment rather than me
empowering others.
In September at in-country orientation, I remember the
global service learning coordinators say that SALT (Serving And Learning
Together) is primarily about LEARNING and SERVICE comes second. He suggested that the acronym should be LAST
(Learning And Serving Together). I agree;
I feel like I’m learning more than I’m serving.
I am receiving more help than what I am giving. I am constantly eating food that other people
have prepared. My host family helps me
with many things like parking my motor scooter, doing my laundry, taking me
places, etc. I constantly need help at
church to find the right page in the song book or Bible. The women at P3W have to be patient with me
and explain my job duties in a way that I will understand.
Last year when I was thinking of doing SALT, I was excited
about the assignment description “Women’s Empowerment Intern”. I imagined participating in discussions,
teaching, writing documents, and applying my sociological knowledge. I told my supporters in Canada that I was
going to Indonesia to learn about and participate in women’s empowerment. The problem with my expectations is that I
didn’t account for the fact that everything would be in the Indonesian
language. I am being challenged to
develop patience as I often feel useless, lost, and dependent.
However, I believe there is great value in the vulnerability
I am experiencing as a privileged white Canadian dependent on people from a
“developing country”. I am reminded
every day that people from the West do not have all the answers; I am not superior
to the people I am serving. I am in the
midst of learning something from Indonesians that I can hopefully use to teach
Canadians. Christian missions in the
past have often been one-sided. It is
the privileged culture teaching the materially and “spiritually” impoverished
culture how to live and worship God.
But, my service with MCC is hopefully an example of how we are in need
of learning from the societies that are often labeled as developing. I have realized that I will learn more from
Indonesians and Papuans than they will learn from me.
For example, I know how to cook and wash dishes in Canada,
but those essential life skills operate differently here. For starters, we often don’t wash dishes in
the sink, but use the floor with a hose.
Then, when there is no dishes rack to dry them, there is a precise way
to layer dishes in a big bowl so that they dry.
I baked cookies at home, but there was no measuring cup so I used a
glass and guessed at the measurements. I
used ingredients I didn’t understand and baked the cookies in a portable oven placed
over the gas stove. I am constantly
faced with my incompetence, but somehow, with a lot of help I get what I
require. The cookies turned out great (somehow) and my host family was excited
to be eating a desert from Canada. In my
next blog post I will write about my experience of Christmas in Papua.
